It's been awhile. Awhile since I've blogged, awhile since I've had much interest in photo sessions. I haven't really figured out why, as it's something I've been passionate about for years. Maybe I hit a wall. Maybe I grew frustrated, trying so hard and spinning my wheels and staying in the same place. It can be hard on one's self-esteem.
I've not completely lost my love for it. I still go on little adventures, I still crave outings with my camera and wish for a beautiful sky that I can photograph. Sometimes I even wish for people to photograph, though not nearly as much as I used to.
There have been some adventures in the last while, though I haven't bothered to blog any of them. I share a few on Facebook and am so grateful for those who will hit that like or love button. It means something to me, and the fact that so often it's the same people means even more. Since many of you have probably found your way to this post via Facebook, you've probably already seen these photos, but I'll share what I've gotten lately.
Beware, there's a lot of them, and it's sort of unorganized and messy, but at the other end you'll find something brand new and discover what I've been doing in my spare time.
There are a couple of photos above that were actually taken through the car window (I was the passenger!). And of course I had to include Snicklefritz.
So on to the hard stuff.
I may be neglecting my camera, but I have another outlet. I've always loved music, and have been lucky enough to do music themed photo sessions in the past. I was taught to play the guitar when I was maybe thirteen or fourteen if I remember correctly. I never really learned to play all that well, and I went through stages of playing all the time to having to wipe off the dust on my guitar in between the times I've played it.
Lately, however, I pick it up every chance I get. Within the last year, I've fallen in love with writing songs. I don't know where it came from; it's nothing that I've done before or had any desire to try. I thought it impossible and couldn't wrap my head around how people did it. But one day I played a chord progression I liked and put words to it, and I've been doing it ever since. I record all that I write or else I will forget the melody. I have shared some of my originals, though here's the thing about that. I think it's sort of mirrored how photography has sometimes beaten up my ego in the past. The stuff I've shared has often been met with crickets, which isn't easy when putting it out there is such a struggle. The first time I shared a song, it was one that I'd written that was inspired by my parents, and I got so much positive feedback and love that it really made me feel good about it. Until then, I'd just been sharing covers. I shared a few more originals after that, which was sort of when the crickets came.
Despite the crickets I get sometimes, I still share some of my stuff despite telling myself I won't. Mostly on Instagram for strangers, because it's easier somehow. I have only recently played for my closest friends for the first time (I once broke out my guitar with a friend at a party, but I sort of mumbled my way through a couple of songs).
I don't expect fanfare, because not everyone is going to be interested or care. Also, in all honesty, I can't expect everyone to like what I do. As with photography, not everyone is going to like the things I share. So I'm trying to learn to remember that when I share something and get silence in return. It's tough, but I'll keep at it! I try to remember what those close to me, the ones who have been so supportive of me since I've started this, have told me. "Do it because you love it." "Keep sharing it for the people that do love it, like us." "Fuck everyone else" (those of you who know me probably know who said that one).
I haven't figured out why I feel the urge to share the music I write, or even covers. Maybe it's like photography in a sense. You take a photo you like, and you think, other people might like this too. I'm creating something in either case. I've never taken a photo and then thought, I'm keeping this to myself.
So, I won't keep this love to myself. I used to share my originals with a very small group of people, though I tend not to even do that anymore. I post them to YouTube where no one sees them, because I don't tell anyone they're there and sometimes, I will share snippets to Instagram. Now, good or bad, I'm sharing them with you. The link below is my YouTube page where I post (and then I don't tell anyone so they often have zero views). It's messy with covers scattered throughout, and personal videos way down (and please excuse my mediocre guitar playing and sometimes not-so-great sound quality) but the most recent uploads are mostly originals. Be kind, I'm new at this! If you do like what you hear, you can subscribe and I *think* you get notifications when I upload something new.
If you're not interested, that's okay, too ;)